How are you today?
What's on your heart and mind today?
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Sometimes I have to allow myself one day where I don't worry about the financial stress I have been dealing with. Often watching encouraging videos, such as the "Everybody Is Free To Wear Sunscreen" song. They're very uplifting. But after that is all done, I'm brought back to the reality of the present. With that, I'll tell you my life as it is now. In hopes that someone may offer their advice to me. As I'll take all help I can get. Hugs are accepted, too. ;)
My name is Jennifer (call me Jenny for short), I'm twenty years old. I'm a smart girl despite having dropped out in high school. I've never done drugs, I haven't drank alcohol and surprisingly (as most girls my age), I am a virgin. So my reasons for dropping out of high school are pretty legit. I was bullied most of the time. The other half I was mentally and physically abused at home. So I withdrew from my studies and didn't really care to do well. Yes, I suppose it's my fault for dropping out, nobody else's. But otherwise, that doesn't make me a bad person. I'm actually very smart! And I do plan on going to get my GED soon and then head off to college. I still live with my father (and even though he makes money; he refuses to help me.) I can somewhat understand that I suppose. But it's sad that he won't even help me find resources; which is all I've asked for.
Anyway, as of right now, I'm struggling with a plethora of things! I haven't been able to find work for a very long time (six months!) and it's driving me crazy. I must find work to make money (duh!). I have literally gone out and applied at nearly every place I could (even fast food places, because any kind of work is work - and work means money.) I placed ads online as well, offering such services and babysitting, cleaning, filing, et cetera. However, no luck. And as advised, I did call back a few places (being persistant without being pushy) to check up on things. I have had no call backs. Now, I can understand it somewhat. The economy is really terrible right now. But also, my level of education doesn't exactly scream for people to hire me. I cannot file for unemployment. As I have had my stupid moments before and QUIT my last job. I was being harrased by a female customer and the boss didn't even care. Long story short, I showed up to work, worked half my shift, then just went and clocked myself out and told them I quit. I suppose it was a stupid thing to do at the time. And after six months of not working, it's making me wished I had just put up with it and stayed there. So yes, that fault is on my part.
So after all that, I'm down to my last $4 in my checking account. Most of which I made on Mechanical Turk (google it if you're curious). My car is on empty, so I can't go out and look for work anymore. (I drive a 1993 Mercuy Sable - grandmother car, I know! But it gets me around.) I have to resort to looking online for work (which I will continue to do).
And even more to read about! While I do live with my father (and stepmother, her two toddlers), my brother and my sister - I often go without eating sometimes. We do have food (they get foodstamps), but they abuse their spending. My stepmother is the one that purchases the food in the house. But she's rediculious and likes to buy cookies, french fries, pizzas, frozen dinners, et cetera. I honestly cannot remember when she last brough a stalk of celery or bag of apples home! So now I'm forced to eat these fatty meals or nothing at all. What's sad, is that the others have to eat it, too. It's as if she doesn't see how these foods are making her family unhealthy. Don't get me wrong when I say that I often do not eat. I LOVE food, food is good. I'm not one to usually starve myself. However, if they tossed me a head of brocoli or a few carrot sticks once in awhile, I wouldn't mind, ya know? But cookies and greasy fries? I think I'll pass.
To sum all this up. No work, no fuel to find work, no food. Yes, I'm fortunate enough that my father is allowing me a roof over my head. Which I am very thankful for. And I should be thankful for whatever food is given to me. I sympathize greatly for anyone that is having a much more rough time than I am. I hope though that we can all come together and help each other out. I'm a sweet and caring person; so you can guess that I'm not just here to get some help and then run. I'll be here for people that need help as well. Even if it's just lending my ears.
Thanks for reading my wall of text.
Yea I know what u mean by being scammed...last year I was scammed by a supposed "friend" in Nigeria.....long story short...he ruined my bank account..and now I owe $3000...which of course I cannot pay...Im not working at this time..looking for a job tho....how can people like these exist..dont they have any morals??
Thanks Shylady, it was nice to wake up and find a response in my mail box. Ya know I am feeling a little better today. A little sleep does wonder. I guess taking the medication helps with sleep. I really don't like to have to rely on pills. I Have had such a hard week! The car has been in the shop every other day, and when I would go out to go to work it wouldn't start again, I finally called my parents in NY and told them I Quit!! My Father said Quit what I said Everything!!! I can't get to work, or College, I'm 47 yrs old!!! But acting like a baby, but when having a break down guess it doesn't matter what age you are. I actually hung up on him and went in my house and bawled my eyes out for forty five minutes. He called back and told me to go pick up their van. So now I am using their Town and Country. WOW!!! Thanks for the Prayers!!!
Last night was sad, I came to the realization that I had to get rid of my puppy. She was adding a lot of stress to my life. I am not home a lot and she is not house broken. So I posted adds on craigslist and freecycle.org, I had over twenty responses. I just Hope and Pray I picked the right choice. She is with other dogs so she will learn to go outside, also a hugh yard. The lady is home all the time. I miss her already, but it wasn't fair to her. And really I couldn't afford the food anymore, I mean, I was going without so I could feed her.
You have a Great 4th of July honey!!! And thanks again.
I loved you from the very start,
You stole my breath, embraced my heart.
Our life together has just begun
You're part of me my little one.
As mother with child, each day I grew,
My mind was filled with thoughts of you.
I'd daydream of the things we'd share,
Like late-night bottles and Teddy bears.
Like first steps and skinned knees,
Like bedtime stories and ABC's.
I thought of things you'd want to know,
Like how birds fly and flowers grow.
I thought of lessons I'd need to share,
Like standing tall and playing fair.
When I first saw your precious face,
I prayed your life be touched with grace.
I thanked the angels from above,
And promised you unending love.
Each night I lay you down to sleep,
I gently kiss your head and cheek.
I count your little fingers and toes;
I memorize your eyes and nose.
I linger at your nursery door,
Awed each day I love you more.
Through misty eyes, I dim the light,
I whisper, "I love you" every night.
I loved you from the very start,
You stole my breath, embraced my heart.
As mother and child our journeys begin,
My heart's yours forever little one.
thank you for the info. but i cant even afford the fee to apply or see if i qualify for
the prescription program, unless i looked at this web wrong. i checked the drug lists and
only 3 of my prescriptions are on the list i am on 8 prescriptions a month. if i looked at the
program wrong please let me know. okay
I have to tell you to not give up hope about being able to keep your home! I have a client now where there is the chance that they will be able to keep their home because it was found out that their mortgage company used unfair tactics! Currently the case is being reviewed and so far nothing has had to be paid yet!
So please do not give up hope!
I'm sorry your having such a rough time. I'll pray for you if you don't mind. I know how it feel to feel like your having a nervous breakdown. I hope you start to feel better. I am on Prozac myself and I love to feel good and at peace. I hate feeling bad and depressed all the time. God bless you...
OMG, what a week it has been!!! I finally got my car back for the third time out of the shop this week. Thank God for that...
I am slowly getting a few more than 6 hrs at the agency I am working for. I went on an interview today and the client wants me for call in basis only, but at least it is something...
I start College Monday, I am so stressed out the Dr put me on antidepressants, mood stabilizers and Xanax for anxiety!!!
I honestly think I am headed for a break down. I have been calling around for assistance to help pay my utilities. Have to call back on the 6th @ 9:00 am and I'm supposed to be in class starting that day....
I went to pick up my measly $41.00 check today and they didn't have it, but later she called from office and said it was direct deposited. So, I had less running around to do thank God as the car is very fragile right now.
I came home from there and just bawled my eyes out for about 45 minutes. I don't know how I am going to keep it together.
I thank God for this site to talk with others about problems, I really feel like I am going insane. But you people are helping me. I want to thank every single one of you here. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have a place to communicate all of these feelings, and also to see I am not the only one.
Take care till next time and write to me, I'd love to hear from you. I will write back when time permits, it may take a day or two, but I promise ya I will be there for you!!!!
God Bless us all!!! Happy Fourth of July!!!